2025 REFLECTION AND 2026 GOALS

In the past year, I've tried to completely cut out use of all mainstream social media websites except for tumblr. It's very safe to say that I've failed and went back to TikTok in November. But i feel like i learned something inportant about myself. I've learned that completely cutting something out of my life doesn't... actually work. At least not for my mess of a brain. During my haitus, i didn't actually reflect on why TikTok was making me unproductive and upset. I just thought " Mainstream Social Media bad" and ran off, and I was using "digital detox" as a crutch and an excuse to not actually look inside myself.

don't get me wrong, there are plenty of downsides to social media, especially tiktok. the rampant use of AI, the algorithms made to keep you watching advertisements for hours on end, the idea of "just one more scroll". And that's just if you're someone who just read and watch stuff. When you actually try to post, it's a whold different can of worms. It's all overwhelming and intoxicating. but there were also good things about it. I was engaging with my freinds, discovering new artists, finding like-minded people and so much more. I was beginning to miss that. I wanted to go back, but I didn't want to it to drain me like it had for the last better half of a decade. So, what was I to do?

This year, I've experimented with myself. I've tried to get into more hobbies just to see what I liked. I've tried out kandi and fiber arts, web design and journaling. I bounced between social media purges and unrestricted social media access. I tried to see what study methods worked for me. I tried to see what's the best routine for me to have if I wanted to get my personal projects done. I even go back into reading leisurely (btw would recommend).

So, what were my findings? How am I going to navigate my weirdly mundane life hopefully for the rest of my young adulthood? I'd say that my method is simple, but life isn't simple.

The general idea is having Limited access on entertainment sites. I'm gonna allow myself to be on websites i use for entertainment for a set amout of time. If the time runs out or I get upset, I log off and do something else for a bit. I usually spend so much time on that other thing that when I get done or bored with it, the site is open again. I'm writing this on winter break, so I have no idea how this method is going to work when schoolwork is introduced, but that's something i'll find out in January.

Speaking of January, I have a few goals for 2026, and they're in 4 catagories

Independent

The city that I live in, like many cities in America, is dangerously unwalkable and doesn't have public transportation. So unless I have a family member with the time to take me places, I'm stuck at home. I've had my learner's permit since I was 15, but I haven't been able to get that 40 hours of required driving time because said family members have been so busy, But reccently, their schedules have been loosening. So, my first goal for this category is to get a driver's license.

Social

I love my friends. I used to love making friends, but in this past couple of years, i've been too scared to make more friends. This year I wanna get myself out there and make more friends. And then I'm gonna hang out with my best friends more.

Creative

I want to make messy art that reflects my insides more. I want to make art that's for my eyes only. I want to get rid of the part of my brain that makes me feel like i'm being watched. I want to start posting the videos i've made, and start live-streaming my art process, but i have to kill the doubt demon living in my brain.

Academic

I plan to transfer from a 2 year college to a 4-year one in 2027. but first, I have to determine what school I want to go to. I've had several options for years, but this year, I want to choose one and work towards it.

Previous entries

Goals (As of September 20th 2025)

1) Do good in school

2) Complete Monochromes Prolouge

3) Make a youtube video

4) Figure out something close to a routine